L.A. Boondoggle

So, I was down on Hollywood Blvd. yesterday during the red carpet walkups for the Academy Awards found out that A. You can’t see shit from the street and B. The craziness factor in Hollywood doubles whenever there’s an event.

One of the wackier gimmicks that I saw on the street this year were the crazies asking everyone what the “million dollar question” was. They had fliers that looked like million dollar bills, or what a million dollar bill would look like if one existed. I think the question had to do with where you were going to go after you died but nobody was in a hurry to hand over that million dollars when I told them “in the ground”.

The costume people were out in full force today too and I saw the coolest costume person ever. He was wearing, you’re totally not gonna believe this, an Ace Ventura costume!!! Allllllllllllllllrighty Then!!!!! He had the hair, he had the plunger, he had the looks, he had it all. I figured he must be one of the normal, semi-bright costume people, unlike the not so normal, drug using, borderline psychopathic costume people(isn’t it a riot that people let them hold their kids for pictures?).

Last but not least, we had our classic crazy guy. This one wasn’t really too vocal, in fact he didn’t even talk at all. The manner in which this man brought the crazy on was all written down. He had a large piece of cardboard sticking out of his backpack with things written on it about syringes, women, and rape, all peppered with a few expletives thrown in here and there. I guess he was going for the more tourist friendly version of crazy, tourists tend to get all paranoid around vocal crazies.