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I fight the good fight. Where other men falter and fail, I excel in my debauchery. Though the chains of the Nanny State of society may hold back others, I remain unshackled! You see, my brothers, for more than a third of my life I’ve been fighting the war against sobriety on as many fronts as I could. I’ve enlisted the aid of countless fermented concoctions, drawing my firepower from the finest munitions that mother nature has to offer. From the sweetest sip of a Smirnoff Ice to the hard hitting power of a shot of 192.5 proof grain alcohol, I’ve hit that old demon that we call “Sobriety” with nearly everything I could think. I dare say even Dionysis himself would be proud as I’m sure he gives me strength with each passing battle. Why do I and so many others fight? It’s for the freedom of every person!
We choose to rage against the tyranny of those who would strip of us our right to a drink. With each drink we fire another round against a society that would have us all buttoned down into their image of a perfect populace. They’re trying to take our freedom and we will not stand for it! So raise your glasses high and prepare for the next battle, may Dinoysis bless you with his strength as you fortify your B.A.C. and stand up for all that is right! Cheers!
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